


Black Diamond

by cbob13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Rey's POV, Set during the event of TLJ, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, The Last Jedi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 05:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13474635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbob13/pseuds/cbob13
Summary: In a moment of selfishness, Rey takes Kylo's hand in the throne room.  Feeling that she's betrayed the resistance, conflict guides her choices.  But when Kylo's actions lead her right back to a certain Jedi Master, can she convince Ben Solo to truly let the past die and move on?





	1. The Throne Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I originally posted the first two chapters of this story on fanfiction.net but I had some trouble getting into my account on there, so I'm posting it on here. Hope you enjoy!

“You have no place in this story.  You’re come from nothing.  You’re nothing… But not to me.”

The words rang in my ears.  He wasn’t wrong.  My whole life all I’ve been was some garbage picker from Jakku, just trying to stay alive.  Did he really mean that?  Why would he possibly care about me?  He’s someone who has brought absolute terror to me, his family, the galaxy…

“Rey, I want you to join me.  Please.”

Ben held out his hand to me.  He had this look in his eyes.  He was desperate.  I know that look.  When I looked into his eyes I saw someone who had known what it was like to be completely and utterly alone.  I knew because that’s the look that I had in my eyes every day on Jakku; waiting for a family that was never coming back.  Could I really do what he was asking?  Let go of my past.  I don’t want to ‘rule the galaxy’ like he’s suggesting.  But… I wonder what it would be like to have someone understand.

The whole ship around us is falling to pieces, and he’s asking for my hand.  It’s like everything was going to be okay, and now we’re on opposite sides of this war again.  This isn’t right, I saw his future.  He was going to turn and come back to the light, I was sure of it… but maybe his future is yet to come.  Maybe his vison of my future has to come true first before his does.

He’s standing there with that look in his eyes yearning for an answer.  My mind stops thinking and my actions are a blur to me.  My whole body is paralyzed except for my arm.  I lift it up to reach out to him, but I hesitate.  For a split second I think about it once more before my mind is made up.

I’m broken from my paralysis when my arm moves again and _I place my hand on top of his._

His look change from despair to a mixture of shock and relief.  For a split second I thought I saw him smile.  My hand fits perfectly on top of his.  His thumb brushed the back of my hand.  His glove feels rough on my skin but strangely comforting at the same time.  I felt the briefest moment of relief, and then all hell broke loose.

Everything was peaceful then all of a sudden a blinding light ripped through the ship at the speed of light.  The force of the blast knocked me down.  The entire throne room was washed with a white light.  In the ruckus Ben collapsed onto me.  No, he was shielding me.  His entire body was covering mine and his hand cradled my head to protect it.  The light passed almost as quickly as it came.  I took a minute for my eyes to adjust back to normal.  Ben climbed off of me and stood up.  He held his hand out to me, _again_.  I took it and picked myself up.

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah I’m fine.  What the hell was that?”

He walked over to the window.  It’s a miracle this room was still intact.  Whatever hit the ship was very close to hitting them.

“The resistance cruiser.” He scoffed. 

“It rammed through the ship at light speed.  I can only wonder who had the audacity to come up with a stunt like that.”

He started to swiftly make his way to the exit.  “The resistance is down on its last legs if we make it to my ship we can end this once and…”

“Ben.”  I can’t believe what he is saying.  “What happened to letting the past die? Forget about the resistance and the first order.”

I walk over to him and take both of his hands in mine.  “Let’s go somewhere where none of that matters, where we can leave it all behind.  Don’t just turn into snoke and finish his bidding.”

“Rey!  I am not him and you know it.  You agreed to go with me.  We don’t have time for this, we need to get off this ship now.  Everything else can be discussed later, okay?”

That feeling of comfort is gone.  It’s been replaced by the cold stare of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.  What have I done?  I’ve betrayed all of my friends by being selfish.  I should have known that this would backfire, but I say what is going to keep me in one piece for right now.

“Okay.”


	2. Under Different Circumstances

We made it onto his shuttle before the systems stared shutting down on Snoke’s ship.  Looking back at the destruction, it was almost spectacular.  The resistance cruiser cut a perfect line in the star destroyer.  The ship was cut into two pieces, and both were slowly starting to deteriorate.  I looked over to Ben in the pilot’s seat.  He was angry.  His knuckles were grasping the controls like they were the only thing on this earth keeping him sane.  His discomfort showed all over his face.  You think since he killed his abusive master and I decided to join him he would be a little more chipper.

“What Rey? Why are you staring at me?”

I immediately snapped my head away from him.  Was I staring at him?  I didn’t even realize it.  I was so lost in thought.  I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks; oh no.  I’ve already held his hands several times today, and he shielded me from the explosion.  I don’t want him getting any _ideas_. I quickly blurt out the lamest excuse.

“Oh sorry.  I didn’t realize I… I was lost in thought.”  I quickly change the subject.

“Where are we going?  What is your master plan now?”

“Back to The Finalizer.  With most of the First Order fleet left we’re going to regroup with our forces.  After that we can come up with a plan that will bring a swift end to the resis…”

“Ben.”  I turned to glare at him.  After his whole speech on letting the past die, he really doesn’t know how to do it does he?

The glare in his eyes melted away again when he looked at me.  I didn’t know that someone could have a stare with that much intensity. 

“We’re going back to the finalizer and we can discuss our _plan._   We’ll decide what we’re going to do.”

We didn’t talk for the rest of the trip to the star destroyer.  It wasn’t a long trip, but the First Order fleet was making distance from Snoke’s destroyed ship.  When we got closer towards the star destroyer, it was honestly _incredible._   I had picked through the crashed one on Jakuu for years, but I’ve never seen one up close in operation before.  Sometimes I find myself wondering how many portions I could get for some things I find.  It’s an old habit, one that I don’t I’m ever going to break.  For the longest time it was about survival and nothing more.  Now, I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do anymore.

When we landed the shuttle there were troopers lined up again waiting for their _Supreme Leader’s_ arrival.  Ben and I quickly exited his shuttle and made our way through the rows of Stormtroopers.  How crazy was it that not even moments ago I was a prisoner to this regime and now they don’t even bat an eye when I stand with their leader.  I wonder if he hadn’t defected if Finn would be standing here with all of these other Stormtroopers.

Finn… What could he possibly think of me now that I’ve sided with the enemy?  Would he even talk to me anymore?  I have this sinking feeling that maybe I made the wrong choice.  Maybe I should have refused Ben’s offer, spat in his face, and declared that I’ll never turn to the dark side, but I didn’t.  I chose for me.  I didn’t choose what would help the galaxy, I chose what would be suit me.  I was selfish, and it felt surprisingly good.

The elevator ride up to wherever we were going was even more uncomfortable than last time.  I didn’t even think that was possible.  Kylo Ren making a situation _more_ uncomfortable couldn’t possibly happen.  He only brings joy and happiness when he walks into a room.  I chuckled to myself at my joke.  I couldn’t even fight back a smirk from coming across my face.  Ben gave me a puzzled look but didn’t say anything.  Thank god.  I didn’t feel like explaining my terrible sense of humor to him.

We came to a stop at what I think is the top floor of the destroyer.  Or at least close to the top since the elevator ride felt like it took forever.  We started to step off and ran right into a man with strikingly bright red hair.  His face had a look of disdain and he didn’t look too pleased to see us.

“Ren.”

“General Hux.”

The General let out an exasperated sigh.  “I see you survived the attack on Snoke’s ship, unfortunately.  Where is the Supreme Leader anyways?”

Kylo gave him a smirk.  “He’s right here.”

The red-headed general was not amused.  “What, come again?  I couldn’t hear what you said with all the ego coming out of your ass.  Where is Snoke?”

“He’s dead.  I killed him and left his decapitated body on his sinking ship.”

“Well good job on that one Ren.  You really screwed it up this time haven’t you?”  He glanced at me standing behind Ben. 

“Oh look you even captured the scavenger wench.  Now you can make her your little pet like you’ve always wanted.”

The look in Kylo’s eyes changed so quickly it was like you flipped a switch.  His eyes went black and anger came off of him in waves.  He thrusted his hand out into a clenched fist.  Hux went flying into the air.  He was gasping for breath.  Kylo was crushing his windpipe, in a few more moments he would be dead.  I felt myself let out a gasp.  What he was doing was terrible, but I did nothing to stop him.  Before life left the general’s eyes Kylo slammed him into the wall behind him.  Hux fell into the ground in an unconscious heap, but it was apparent that he would live.

Kylo’s anger had someone subsided but he still had that look in his eyes.  He turned towards me, grabbed my wrist and whisked me down the hall.  I hated this, it made me feel like a child who couldn’t take care of themselves.  But I didn’t say anything because this didn’t really seem like the time to object. 

He dragged me by my wrist all the way down the hall until we came to a large door.  The door slipped open and he dropped my wrist.   The room was large with tall ceilings and had dark lighting.  This was his quarters.  I’ve only seen in once over the bond but I didn’t get a good view of it.  At the time I was distracted by _other things_.

Ben paced around the room trying to get rid of his anger.  He came over to me with that look in his eyes again.  That intense look that somehow put me at ease.

“Rey I’m sorry.  What Hux said wasn’t true.  I never thought of you as some prize to be won.  I just… I’m sorry.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing.  Did he just apologize to me, twice? 

“It’s okay Ben.  But you didn’t have to hurt him.  It was just some stupid comment.  You don’t have to be like that”

He took a step close to me.  “I know, but no one is ever going to hurt you again Rey.  I know you can protect yourself, but as long as you are by my side no one will ever hurt you again.”

Again he manages to surprise me.  This man had just almost just killed his colleague out in the hall and now he’s telling me that he won’t let anyone hurt me.

“And you don’t have to be alone anymore.  Neither of us do.”

There is was that small smile again.  The one that gave me hope that he could be Ben Solo once again.  If I couldn’t get Luke back to the resistance, maybe I can get Ben.

He didn’t say anything more.  He just stood there with that stupid smile on his face. 

“So… this is where you live?”

“Yeah kind of.  It’s more of a temporary living space.”

I started to walk around and look at the room’s surroundings.  “I can tell.  There’s barely anything in here.  Even my old hollowed out walker had more belongings than this place.”

“Walker?  You mean in an Imperial Walker? Did you live in an AT-AT?”

Wow of course he would know the exact specifications of all the old Imperial equipment.  What a nerd.

“Yeah.  Home sweet home.  I didn’t have much on Jakuu to call my own but that place protected me, kept me safe.  Even if it was a piece of junk, it was something to call my own.”

“Do you miss it? Jakuu.”

How do I answer that?  Do I miss waiting for a family that would never come?  I was so hopeful that they would come back to me.  Ben crushed that dream in a matter of minutes, but he was right.  He was honest with me.  I should be honest with him. 

“Do I miss Jakuu?  No.  I miss waiting for my family.  At least back then I had hope that someone cared about me.  Now I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do anymore.”

His look carried the notion that he had once felt this way too.

“Rey.  You don’t have to wait on anyone anymore or be tied down by people who didn’t care about you.  You can be whoever you want to.”

Anyone I want to be?  I’ve never thought about being anything other than a scavenger, and now I have a whole galaxy of opportunities.

“You said you wanted… us to bring a new order to the galaxy?  What did you mean by that?”

He looked puzzled.

“I don’t really know.  I just want us to let everything go.  When I was young everything was about ‘balance’.  It was all about how Luke Skywalker saved the galaxy from the empire.  But it was all a load of shit.  There wasn’t balance.  That’s the one thing Skywalker could never understand.  Balance is about both sides, not just snuffing out the dark.  All of them were just wrapped up in their glory that they couldn’t see…”

“Couldn’t see what Ben?”

He looked at me like he was full of shame.  Like what he was about to admit to me would shatter him.

“They couldn’t see that I never wanted to be shipped off with my uncle, I never wanted to learn anything about the force.  I just wanted my parents to give a damn about me.”

I give him a small smile.  Maybe we weren’t so different after all.

“Me too.  I wish I had known you back then.  Under different circumstances and all.”

Ben’s eyes met mine and he held his gaze there.

“Yeah me too.”

I wonder what would have that been like, if we had met when we were young.  Just a girl who didn’t know who her family was, and a boy who could never gain the satisfaction of his.  I wonder what he would have been like before he turned, before his dark eyes showed nothing but pain and suffering.  Would he have even liked me? Ro would he have just thought of me as some filthy scavenger rat?  Could I have stopped his pain and my own?  I guess I’ll never know.

Once again the intensity of his stare makes me uncomfortable once again.  I look away.  I try my best to fight it, but I can feel the blush rushing to my cheeks.

“I can see you’re tired.  Get some rest.  You can sleep in my room for now until I figure something out.”

Ben led me into the room straight ahead from the main room.  The door slid open to reveal a large bed that took up most of the room. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Ben stepped out of the room and the door slid shut.  Here I am alone with my thoughts once again.  My selfish, terrible thoughts.  The thoughts that betrayed the resistance and the Jedi.  But there’s nothing I can do sitting in here that will change anything.  I just need to get some rest and figure it out in the morning.

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like how I'm writing Rey's character. Any feedback would be appreciated.


	3. There's a Menace in my Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't going to go the way you think.

As I pull myself from sleep, I can tell something is different.  Not that I’m waking up in strange place.  The past week or so since I left Jakuu, I’ve been waking up in places that weren’t home, but something was wrong. 

I stretched my arms out and one of them hit something.  That definitely wasn’t right.  I rub my eyes only to see one groggy Ben Solo.  In the same bed… with me.  My first instinct was the get the hell out of here.

“What the he…”

Before I could go anywhere, Ben caught my wrist. 

“No, Rey wait.”

I cautiously laid back down.

“I thought you were sleeping in the other room.”

“I am.”

With another look I realized that he was right.  Kylo and I weren’t in the same room.  It was thing that was connecting us.  It happened again.

“Why does this keep happening to us?”

He sighs.  Was he disappointed about the connection? 

“I did some digging.  It’s called a force bond.  It happens when the force connects two people.”

“Yeah but why us?  Out of all the people in the galaxy why would the force connect us?”

“I don’t know.”

It was strange being so close to someone.  The feeling was foreign, but comforting.

“I’ve never done this before.”

Ben was puzzled.  “Shared a bed with someone?”

“No, I’ve never woken up and not been alone.”

Ben’s breathing hitched for a moment.  Almost like he was guilty for something.  What was he hiding?

“Kylo what are you going to do about the resistance?  Please tell me.  We can figure it out together.”

“After this Rey, I promise you will never have to wake up alone ever again.  I’m going to make it right.”

He dodged my question.  Make what right?

“Wait, what?”

He didn’t answer me.  He only waved his hand in front of my face and I could feel myself getting tired. 

That son of a bitch!  He’s putting me to sleep again.  I can feel myself growing more tired.

“I’m sorry.”

Yeah I bet you are!  My body no longer obeys my commands as I fall into a state of unconsciousness, but before I did I felt pressure on my forehead.  It was something warm and soft, something I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.

…

I can feel myself stirring from my sleep.  My head is throbbing and I think I feel even more tired than I did before.  Kylo knocked me out… again.  I should have known better than to not expect something like this.  How did my life become a nonstop swirl of drama?  I just miss the days of me and the hills of the desert.  At least back then I could pretend to be ignorant about who I was…

There’s no time for that.  I pull myself out of bed.  I walk out of Kylo’s room into the main room.  I knew he was gone but I had to be sure.  What did he mean by he is going to make it right?  I mean sure, he definitely has a lot that he could make up for, but what?  Okay calm down, he could just had to go to some super-secret evil meeting right?  No, of course not we’re talking about Kylo Ren here. 

Okay think.  What would Kylo need to do that he didn’t want me around for?

Oh no…

I look down to my wrist and it’s not there.  I run back into the bedroom and rip off the sheets to make sure it hadn’t fallen off.  It’s not there, Kylo took it.

“Shit!”  I threw the sheets across the room. 

Kylo had taken the tracker bracelet that Leia gave me.  He knocked me out so he could take it.  Great, I just gave the most dangerous man in the galaxy the location of the entire resistance.  But… he was a dangerous man who might listen to me. 

How am I going to get to the resistance in time?  Where the heck are they?  There’s no way I can find them without the tracker now.  Wait… Kylo said he’s going to make it right, so where did it first go wrong?

Luke.

He’s going to use the last coordinates of the tracker to go find Luke and kill him.  I have to stop him before he does.  I stride across the room to the door.  I swipe my hand in front of the sensor but it doesn’t open.  Of course he locked it. 

Okay so is there anything I can use to pry the door open?  I look around the room.  There’s essentially nothing in here that I can use.  Maybe I could use The Force?

I’ve never done tried to move anything this big before.  I stand in front of the door and close my eyes.  Okay just breathe.  It’s an energy that flows through everything, including the door.  I can do this.  I can do this.  Just clear my thoughts and…

*click!* The lock released and the door opened ever so slightly.  I ran over to it and grabbed the edge to yank it open.  When I get the door open I have the briefest moment of relief only to see a Stormtrooper standing on the other side.

“Hey you!”  He raised his gun towards me.

No time for mind tricks.  I shove my hand forwards and I use the force to throw the Stormtrooper into the wall, knocking him out cold.  Just like lifting rocks.

I pick up the trooper’s blaster off the ground.  Maybe tricking him into taking me to a ship would have been a better option.  But then again not getting shot was a pretty good option too.  I don’t have any idea how I’m going to find a ship or get around without being noticed.  I snuck around Starkiller without much trouble, but this ship is much smaller than an entire planet.  Maybe I won’t have to worry about sneaking around.

I grab the trooper by his feet and drag him into the room behind me.  Stealing his armor should be relatively easy.  I remove his helmet and I’m shocked by what I see.  He’s just a young boy.  He couldn’t be any older than I am.  When I look at him all I can see is Finn.  It could have easily been Finn that I knocked out and almost killed. ..

I don’t have time for this.  I swiftly remover the rest of his armor and put it on.  It’s way too big for me and looks odd, but it will have to do.  I put on the helmet and leave the room.  I have no idea where I’m going.  I turn right at the doorway and hope that I’m going in the right direction.  I think this is the direction that Kylo and I came from, but I can’t remember.  I was too shocked by what he did to the general, I didn’t bother paying attention. 

 The hallways are long and so dimly lit that I can’t tell where I’m going, or maybe it’s just this terrible helmet.  I keep walking until I reach an elevator.  I press the down button and the door slides open.  I walk inside and just before the door closes I am joined by someone.  I take in their appearance and it’s a Stormtrooper.  But this once is different, their armor isn’t white, it’s reflective chrome.

They were obviously someone very high up in the first order.  I do my best to stand rigid, but I can’t stop my thighs from shaking.

“At ease solider.”

The voice coming from the silver plated Stormtrooper was female.  I didn’t know The First Order trained women too.  I relax a little bit.

“What’s your call sign trooper?”

Oh shit.  What did Finn say his name was again?  2187 or something like that?  I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.

“FN-2195.”

“Where are you headed soldier?”

“Maintenance in hangar bay 5.”

The elevator came to a stop and the door opened.

“Carry on solider.”

I quickly got off before she could drill me with any more questions.  That was close.  I can’t believe that actually worked.  Now what?  I looked around at the ships in the hangar.  It seemed like my only two options were to steal a TIE Fighter or a Transport Shuttle.  A Fighter would be conspicuous. They would shoot me down before I even left the hangar. 

Wait a second.  I look over to the other side of the hangar.  At least 15 troopers are loading onto a shuttle.  If I could get onto that shuttle I could maybe take control of the ship.   Fought off Snoke’s guards, how hard could Stormtroopers be?  Who am I kidding? I can’t possibly fight all of them off.  But I really have no other choice.

I start marching across the hangar and hope that no one questions where I’m going.  I make it to the shuttle as the last trooper is being loaded on.  On the wall I see some baton looking weapons, so I grab one.  I make a head count of everyone on the shuttle.  1..2..5..7…  12.  Plus two pilots.

The ship doors close and the transport takes off.  I can see the pilots punching in coordinates for lightspeed.  Armed with a blaster and a baton.  I can do this.  I can do this.  I take one last deep breath.

I raise my blaster and I start firing.  The troopers jumped into attack mode.  I pick the troopers off at point blank range.  1 down, 2 down, 3, 4, 5, 6.  I aim for the main pilot and hit him right on target.  One trooper shoots and knocks the blaster from my hand.  Another two shoot at me, but before they can hit me I catch them with the force and send them flying back to their original senders.

3 left.  I whip out my baton, and to my surprise it ignites to life with an electric field.  Just like the saber.  I strike at the chest of one trooper and he goes down.  I strike another and they go down as well.  I thought I had taken control of the ship, until the copilot of the ship emerged from the cockpit.  He ignited a weapon identical to me.  He attacked first. 

The trooper attacked with a fury of strikes and spins.  I blocked every one of them.  The trooper swung an uppercut strike.  I stepped out of the way enough that it didn’t hit me, but it clipped my helmet and sent it flying. 

“You’re a traitor!”

I could feel my rage growing in me. 

I scoffed.  “Not exactly.”

I thrust my hand out and grabbed the trooper in a force hold.  He reached at his neck, gasping for air, but it did no good.  I help him there and struck him with the baton.  It sent him flying across the ship with a fatal thud. 

 

I came out of what was also a daze.  I looked around at the troopers bodies lying about the ship.  I… I did this.  Why did I do this?  I attacked them not out of defense but in anger.  I’m no better than Kylo.

It was my only option but it doesn’t make me feel any better.  Here I am again just me and my selfish thoughts.  But maybe if I can save Luke, The Resistance, and Ben by having done this, it might have been worth it.

I enter the cockpit and move the pilot from the chair.  I enter the coordinates for Ahch-To and I punch it to lightspeed.

…

As the ship emerges from lightspeed, I hope I’m not too late, and that Ben hasn’t done something horrible yet.  I reach out with my feelings for him.  I can feel Ben’s anger and pain.  

As I approach the island I can see a red lightsaber against the dark sky.  Oh no Ben please don’t do this.  I land the ship at the bottom of Luke’s island where the falcon once sat.  I don’t stop to take off the Stormtrooper armor, there’s no time.  I have to stop Ben before he does something else he will regret. 

I don’t even bother powering down the ship once it’s landed.  I opened the ship door and took off.  A few days ago I had walked up these steps with a curious mind.  Today I’m sprinting.  I have to get to them.  I have to stop Ben.

I make it to the top and there’s still time.  Luke’s not dead yet.  It’s dark and Ben still hasn’t seen me yet.

“Ben!”

His back is turned to me.  My back is facing the water.  He’s choking Luke.

“You were a pathetic excuse for an Uncle, and a Jedi!”

“Ben stop it!!”

He still hasn’t heard me.  I run up to him and grab his left arm.

“Kylo stop!”

He finally noticed my presence.  He whipped around to face me.

“What?!!”

When he turned, his left hand whipped around.  It didn’t make contact with me but something else did.  I feel myself tumbling back.  I lose control of my footing.  I can’t stop myself.  The wind is knocked out of my chest and my feet are swept out from under me.  I start to panic, there’s nothing to grab onto and nothing to prevent me from falling.  I’m being pushed backwards until there’s nothing beneath me.

"Ben..."

The last thing I see before I fall are the eyes of a boy who had failed me, and I plunge into darkness.

…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun. This chapter started out really cute, but it went really bad really quick. I was disappointed that there was no freaking cliff scene in TLJ some I made one. ;) Also I'm sorry I'm not the best at writing fight scenes but I wanted Rey to beat up on some stormtroopers. And I know technically Phasma died on Snoke's ship but I want my girl to be alive so bad. As always feeback on what you liked and didn't like is always appreciated!


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